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This blog will allow students that participated in the relationship improvement class to review and expand upon the things they learned during classroom instruction. I also extend the invitation to anyone who is interested in improving his or her interpersonal relationships to peruse the materials available here. I hope that you will be edified by what you find. As you can see, however, the blog is (and hopefully will always be) a work in progress. I humbly ask for your patience and extend to you the promise that it will become more and more useful to you as time goes on. I also want site visitors to understand that I am solely responsible for the content of this blog and that statements, artwork, or other material found herein should not be construed to represent the feelings, beliefs, etc. of any other person or organization, including any of my employers or the church I attend. Again, I am solely responsible for this blog's content, except in those instances when I have used quotations, videos, and so forth created by other individuals, in which case I have done my best to provide accurate source documentation. If you have any comments or suggested improvements, feel free to email me at InsideOutChange@gmail.com. As time goes by, please continue to check back; I'll do my best to make this blog the best it can be!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

#7: Book Reviews

First of all, let me just apologize for not posting anything lately. I've been beyond busy, but I haven't forgotten about InsideOutChange. One thing that I have been doing is reading late at night after my family is asleep. As such, here are my reviews of a few books that contain information and principles that are relevant to the class. As you will probably recognize, some of them are on the various book lists available on the right side of the page.

The Power of Truth by William George Jordan – Jordan states, “If we know the truth and do not live it, our life is – a lie.” This is the crux of Jordan’s message, and this book details principles and practices that help us as individuals to seek, and then integrate into our lives, the truth. He discusses such concepts as truth’s stand-alone and transformative power, dealing with ingratitude, the false notions we often use to deceive ourselves, and internal vs. external value and validation.

Beautiful Boy by David Sheff – Sheff describes his struggle to support and love his son as he battles a methamphetamine addiction. He outlines the details of a father’s co-addiction to his son’s addiction (i.e. his obsession with his son’s condition and all things relating thereunto). One of the best qualities of this book is that it depicts in stark reality the hideous nature of addiction, some factors that contribute to it, and the profound pain it causes in the lives of addicts and their loved ones. It also describes parts of the individual and familial healing processes and can thus be helpful to addicts and those who love them as they traverse fields of parallel experience.

The Uses of Adversity by Carlfred Broderick – Dr. Broderick points out that even among the faithful, pain is inevitable. He states, “The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is a resource in the event of pain, and when that pain comes (and it will come because we came here on earth to have pain among other things), when it comes, rejoice that you have a resource to deal with your pain.” He shares experiences of individuals with whom he counseled as both an ecclesiastical leader and a therapist that illustrate how the gospel of Jesus Christ offers comfort, perspective, and guidance in dealing with some of life’s most harrowing challenges. This book can help those who struggle with self-doubt, abuse and its effects, death and bereavement, and other trials as they strive to find meaning and usefulness in their pain.

Wanting More: The Challenge of Enjoyment in the Age of Addiction by Mark Chamberlain – This book presents acquisition-centered living and a life of enjoyment as diametric opposites. Though all recognize that they inherently lack something, too often they attempt to fill this void with that which cannot satisfy. Dr. Chamberlain describes (among other things) the value of wanting, the powder keg of appetite, the importance of conscience, and the path to real enjoyment. This book is a helpful resource for those that are mired in any kind of addictive and/or obsessive behavior or for anyone who is simply looking to get more out of life.

The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis – This stunning allegory is described by the author in the first lines of its preface as follows: “[William] Blake wrote of the marriage of heaven and hell; I have written of their divorce.” What follows is a fictional dream in which the author is guided through a visionary experience by an angelic sage. We as readers are able to see in the characters portrayed glimpses of ourselves and of attitudes and behaviors that, if persisted in, would keep us wallowing in the mire of Hell rather than progressing toward Heaven. There are great pearls of wisdom to be found concerning our relationship with Deity, the scope of our actions, the healing power of submission, weaknesses made strong, the dissonance between the natural and the spiritual, and many other topics of eternal significance. We are guided to the conclusion that we must either choose one or the other, that those who inherit a mansion in Heaven cannot supplement their real estate holdings with a timeshare in Hell.

The Holy Secret by James Ferrell – Ferrell does a wonderful job of teaching the importance of loving that which is holy and the power this love has to effect change in our individual lives. He does so through the story of fictional Wall Street lawyer Michael Nowak. I include here a part of the summary that is printed on the book jacket of The Holy Secret, as it accurately describes both the content of the book and my experience with it.

“Disturbed by the words of an elderly man who would become his mentor, Michael Nowak finds himself confronted by a secret he has hidden in his heart … In spite of appearances, Michael has to concede: he really doesn’t love holiness. The things the Lord has defined as holy … have in truth become dull to him. This troubles him because he knows that if he does not yearn for holiness in the here and now he will not be prepared to experience it later. Despite his outward compliance with the tenets of his faith, Michael fears – rightly so, it turns out – that he is failing at what matters most … The Holy Secret is the inspiring story of a man who learns to love what truly matters. As he does, he learns another secret: Love for holiness transforms life itself. As we are each Michael to one degree or another, his transformations become our own. With each discovery, we find solutions not only to his challenges, but to ours.”

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky – Dostoevsky’s brilliant writing is difficult for me to describe; I consider my own abilities relatively banal by comparison. His juxtaposition of storytelling and social/religious/political commentary is masterful. Though some might consider his work an acquired taste, I will say that for me that taste was acquired almost as soon as I had picked up The Idiot. Dostoevsky’s masterpiece provides interesting insights into the nature of God, which shines through the attitudes and actions of the protagonist, Prince Myshkin. It also provides parallel glimpses of the nature of the Opposition, embodied in the character of Parfyon Rogozhin. There are interesting commentaries on the human condition, finding joy in the processes of life, perceptions and their distortion, goodness and generosity, forgiveness, the subjectivity of virtue, the anxiety that surrounds death, social problems, and anti-Christianity/apostasy. Above all, it served to remind me of the great moral, ethical, and intellectual divide that exists between the Man whose image graces its cover and the fallen world that He came to save. [*Note – The copy I have is the Barnes and Noble Classics edition. The cover art is a detail of Rembrandt’s work entitled Head of Christ.]

Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life by C. S. Lewis – Lewis’ autobiographical account of his conversion from Christianity to Atheism and back to Christianity is very different from his other works. I found this book to be extremely boring for the most part, but in a paradoxical way that's why I liked it. The flow of the story seemed to match Lewis' life experience: a life of monotony with brief flashes of "joy" - a longing for an emotional/spiritual state he had not yet attained. That is how the book was for me as well; it was generally monotonous, but there were flashes of brilliance every thirty pages or so that made me want to become better. I particularly enjoyed the last chapter, appropriately entitled, “The Beginning.” I found as Lewis did “at each turn less opportunity to call one’s life one’s own,” thanks to the beginnings of the beautiful blending of my will with the Divine.

The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright – Wright’s captivating novel about the lives and deaths of Jack and Laurel Cooper and the associated stories of people they know and love includes important messages about forgiveness, healing, fidelity, personal responsibility, and continuing courtship in marriage. Most importantly, it inspired me to do a better job of connecting in meaningful ways with my own wife on a regular basis. This is definitely a Session 12 book (for those of you that took the class).

An Inconvenient Book and The Real America, both by Glenn Beck – These books contain Beck’s opinions and commentary on a wide variety of issues, from foreign policy to family relationships. I like his opinions because they are honest and straightforward, not to mention the fact that I agree with almost all of them and they alternately make me laugh and cry. As for information that is pertinent to the things we discuss in class, here is a list of some good correlated material (be sure to keep in mind that much of it is tongue-in-cheek, especially in An Inconvenient Book):

- An Inconvenient Book, Ch. 2: Pornography, infidelity, and other Session 13 stuff - An Inconvenient Book, Ch. 4: Parenting, self-image, honesty - An Inconvenient Book, Ch. 5: Dating, honesty - An Inconvenient Book, Ch. 10: Continuing courtship, compromise - An Inconvenient Book, Ch. 21: Parenting - The Real America, Ch. 2: Accepting responsibility for our actions - The Real America, Ch. 10: The joy of spirituality, proving things for ourselves - The Real America, Ch. 11: Synergizing courage and humility

Candide by Voltaire – This dark satire challenges the idea that everything that happens in the world is for the benefit of those that live in it. It invites readers to reconcile the principles of resilience, agency, adversity, divine intervention, optimism, and love (among others). While the Voltaire’s actual meaning and intent are subject to personal interpretation, one message is clear: “We must cultivate our garden.” Regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves, we must make diligent efforts to develop as individuals, as families, and as a society. In these pursuits, “our labors keep us from three great evils – boredom, vice and want.” Additionally, chapter XVIII provides some interesting insights into the workings of a God-centered and other-focused society and individual life.

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