#3: Desires - The Hole in Our Hearts

In the third session of our relationship improvement class, we discuss the synergy of desire and skill as we strive to change our relationships for the better. It is noted that in order for any skills we may have or acquire to work to our greatest benefit, we must first have pure intentions – we must first desire those things that are of most benefit to us.

Noted French scientist/philosopher Blaise Pascal stated: “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God, the creator” (as cited in Chamberlain, Wanting More, p. 90 – see book list). If Pascal’s assertion is true (and I believe it is), it puts us in a potentially precarious position when we face the prospect of assuring that our desires and intentions are pure and “best.” Why? Because the heart is the metaphorical center of desire, and it has a big fat hole in it.

The truth is that we as human beings know about the hole. We recognize that we are lacking something - we just don’t always know what that something is. As such, we often try to fill the void we sense, the hole in our hearts, with other things: material goods, the praise of our peers, sexual pleasure, sumptuous food, and mood-altering substances are a few things that readily spring to mind. The problem we face is that those things don’t fit into the hole, but we try to cram them in there anyway. Figuratively speaking, we, like the pretentious step-sister attempting to stuff her awkward foot into the delicate glass slipper near the end of Disney’s Cinderella, find ourselves exclaiming, “I’ll make it fit!” All too often our hearts meet the same cruel fate as the glass slipper; they are not just broken, but shattered. In such a position, it is difficult (if not impossible) for the desires of our hearts to be upon those things that are most beneficial to us.

Thankfully, however, there is still hope. There is One whose expressly stated mission is “to heal the brokenhearted” (Luke 4:18). He, the Creator, can both repair our hearts and fit perfectly into the holes therein. It is only then, as we allow Him to inspire our desire, that we can be absolutely sure that our hearts are set upon that which is not only good, but that which is best. This is true both in the ultimate, eternal sense as well as in the minutiae of everyday life. When our hearts are purified by Him, our existing skills and talents (as well as those we will yet develop) will truly work to our ultimate benefit. Only then will our relationships be heavenly.